Rough Draft Workshop

NOTE: A copy of your rough draft with your partner's comments embedded in bold within the paper or saved as TRACKED CHANGES is due wiith the final draft .

Directions:

1. Make your paper available on Word or Writely. Change seats with your partner. Go to the tools section of Word and choose "track changes." Save the document as something new. Type "Reviewed by: your name" in bold in the upper right hand corner.

2. Read your partner's paper on the screen. As you read, type in ALL CAPS, boldface, or in a different color within your partner's paper. Mark any points where you stumble over wordy / confusing sentences. Note any confusing commas, awkward sentence structure, or confusing grammar. Look especially for fragments, run-on sentences, problems with agreement, tense inconsistency, etc. Look at every sentence, one by one.

3. Type your comments and impressions as you read. If something strikes you as odd or confusing, talk to your partner about it and make suggestions within the paper in bold face type. By the same token, if something strikes you as well-written and interesting, mark that as well.

4. Look at the paper in terms of organization, evidence, style, and originality and answer ALL of the following questions as you read. Discuss your observations with your partner.

ORGANIZATION:

5. Identify the author's thesis statement by underlining it and writing THESIS HERE after it. Is the thesis reasoned, clear, and recognizable? No matter how good it is, suggest a way to make it even better. Usually, most theses can be improved upon by making them more specific.

Supporting Paragraphs:

6. Each supporting paragraph should strengthen the thesis statement. Make a note of any passages where the paper goes off track, by writing:. PAPER GOES OFF TRACK HERE.

7. Are there any sentences that do not logically precede from the previous sentences? In other words, are there any sentences that "come out of nowhere"? Identify them and suggest how they could be finessed into the logical structure of the paragraph, by writing: THIS DOES NOT YET RELATE.

Conclusion:

8. What are the main points of the paper, as summarized by the conclusion?

9. What does the conclusion invite you to think about?

Transitions:

10. Take note of any transitional words and sentences the author uses. Where should the author insert transitions? Do any paragraphs seem abruptly introduced? Help the author ease into each paragraph with transitional words.

STYLE / ORIGINALITY:

Introduction:

11. Is the opening both clear and enticing? Suggest one way the writer could make it more so. Important: Introductions should avoid generalizations. Avoid statements, such as "throughout history," or "for as long as there has been x," or "there are many differences between x and y." Such statements sound vague and wishy-washy. Instead, focus your introductory sentences on the peculiarities of your thesis. This will make your intro interesting and enticing.

12. Does the paper avoid generalizations throughout? Mark any general phrases, such as: Throughout time; Throughout the ages; Many people believe; Many people feel; etc. Suggest how the writer could make such phrases specific.

Tone:

13. How would you describe the tone of the paper (humorous, serious, etc.)? Is the tone both mature and appropriate to the assignment? Is the tone consistent throughout? If not, where does it change?

Colloquialisms:

14. Look for informal words that might not be appropriate for the assignment. Spell out contractions (can’t=cannot, won’t=will not, etc.)

Weak words and phrases:

15. Mark any weak words: probably, seems, obviously, might, maybe, just, truly, even, sort of, kind of, really, very, etc.

Look for and mark the following weak phrases: I think; I believe; In my opinion. (It’s fine to think or believe something, but asserting the belief or thought in the form of a statement is almost always stronger than framing it with "I think," etc.)

Avoid the Passive Voice:

16. Mark any sentences that use the passive voice.

Clichés:

17. Find and eliminate clichés. "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives," is a simile, but it has become so worn out that it is now a cliché.

Other Vocabulary:

18. Find three words (or more) within the paper that could be pumped up a bit. Give on or two alternatives for each of these words. Write them down in bold in parentheses (new word1, new word 2) beside the word in question.

Figurative Language:

19a. Find a place within the paper that could benefit from figurative language, such as simile, metaphor, etc. Come up with an apt simile or metaphor and write it down. .

Description:

19b. Find place within the paper that could benefit from sensory description. Indicate which sense description (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste) would be most evocative.

Documentation, Evidence, and Analysis:

20. What sources does the writer uses? Are sources clearly documented and introduced?

21. Does the author use signal phrases to introduce these sources?

22. Are the sources relevant, well-analyzed, and clearly explicated?

23. Is the close reading clearly identifiable and relevant to the thesis?

Presentation:

24. Are there any problems with the following:Papers should be typed and double-spaced. Font size should be 11 or 12. Use a normal font. Use black ink only. Name should be in the upper right corner. Paper should be stapled. Pages should be numbered.

Overall Review:

25. At the end of the paper, write one paragraph in which you give your overall comments and reactions to this paper. Avoid Generalizations. Saying "This paper is great" is nice; but such statements are almost useless when it comes time to revise. What specific things did you like/dislike? Did you think it was an interesting and original approach to the topic? What would you have done differently? What could the writer improve upon, in your opinion?