CLOUD-WATCHING
Cumulus clouds stretch horizontal,
slow moving, gas-filled chrysanthemums
cut at the base with a razor blade's
slice; the same way your youth, slow-blooming,
drifted into blueness when you married.
A schoolboy, you studied calculus
in college, could measure the surface of seashell
with a formula, diagram the movements
of cloud banks with charcoal;
But you traced the spine of the nautilus
growing in her belly with wonder,
confused by the imprecision of her cycle,
the rapid division of life cells in her uterus.
You were frightened but did the math,
got married, and your son uncurled
seven months after sacrament,
cloud edges softening into smoke,
floating into Cirrus curls
like the wisps of cigar smoke you blew when
you gave your son your own name.
Moving your family west to work for Del Monte,
you controlled the annual yield
of the tomato plant, watched the fruit get mashed
into paste, scraped into bottles, and shipped across
the States with their sticky profits measured by your
slide-rule. Your wife was expecting another baby,
this time the gammic mass was a girl who grew
too feminine, filled with moods
and a gibbous moon.
You were an angle in a house full of tears.
Made into strangeness, you bought a sailboat,
and that slender woman carried you lonely
across glass water. You learned to watch the clouds
to learn the weather. Your wife's hair became
a black halo like the Latin Nimbus, stormcloud.
You cut anchor when she screamed silence,
found that stars are smaller above the Pacific,
sky crushes architecture to cement stumps.
Her tempest sent hail through the living-room
while you tried to navigate. So you drifted:
filled your hand with a glass of brandy,
and drank the amber liquid from the life line
in your palm until the bite of the brandy
put clouds in your eyes, cumulus whispers
of the calculus you left behind, the numbers you
never counted, defying your knowledge of function.